If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we're so committed to being not committed
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