apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
