They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
