I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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