wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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