Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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