oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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