talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize