just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
