I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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