I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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