the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
