If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
