I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
