I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize