Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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