Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
