Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
