Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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