Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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