you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
