I don't think brook has ever known best
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
