sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
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She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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