He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
