ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
