she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize