clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
