Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I enjoy the company of your penis
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
