White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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