Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am naked and annoyed.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
