So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
