Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Randomize
