ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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