the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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