i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
