I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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