Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.