moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things Theyâ€™ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?