Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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