Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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