i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Life is so much better after having sex.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?