and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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