so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize