There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The feeling are messing with the penis
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
this hospital has no fireball
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that