I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
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We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion