so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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