The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize