everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
