We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
