he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
