So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
