eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
