My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
