left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize