I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
