ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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