i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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