unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize