K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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