The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.