You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.