hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.