I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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