I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
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He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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