At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
PANTIES FOUND
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
