that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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