i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize