My friends, they love my intelligence
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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