So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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