I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
