i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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