Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Non-Jews are for practice
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
