he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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