There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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