Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's official drugs can't kill me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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